Loneliness

All by myself

This is a story about a girl who is struggling with herself, trying to deal with the simple thing as the daily life at home and at school.

Hi, my name is Anna.

I’m 16 years old and I live in a city called Odense in Denmark. My family is a very typical Danish family. I have a mother and a father but I have no siblings, I’m an only child. As almost everybody else these days, my parents are getting a divorce. They told me 3 months ago. I was really upset at first, now I’m sort of getting used to the idea. I have no choice, I guess. I can’t change it. Maybe it’s for the best. They were fighting all the time, and maybe this sounds selfish, but they kind of forgot about me, because they were busy yelling at each other all the time. I had to do everything by myself! Now I get a little more attention, I think… Maybe they feel bad about the divorce. But still … I wish it could go back to normal. Here after the divorce has been official, I have been a bit sad. - Or actually pretty sad to be honest. I feel alone at home and also at school. I don’t really talk to anybody. It’s like no one notices me... that’s just how I feel. I know I can blame myself for some of it. I am shy and I am really not good at socializing. I don’t know what to say when people ask me something, so now they have just stopped questioning me. I have never been good at it, but it has definitely gotten worse after the divorce. There have been so many other things at home at the same time, so to concentrate on one thing, is difficult. But a thing which is impossible to avoid seeing is, that my class is divided in two. - The popular and the not so popular ones. I don’t think I’m a part of that system, I’m just there. To be popular you have to wear the right clothes, the right brand. Otherwise you are not “in”. I don’t think of my clothes as being of any importance, no one notices it anyway, so what’s the point? I don’t have someone who says: “Hey, that’s a nice shirt.” I don’t have a best friend. I’m never invited when my class mates are having a party or when they are hanging out together after the school day is over. When I come home I usually do my homework, sit at the computer or read a book. But I have a hard time focusing when I know what all my class mates are doing. Talking, laughing and having a good time… together. And I’m just sitting by myself… alone.

Many young people ends up in a situation like this with divorced parents. That has an affection on every child. It’s different how the child handles it, though. Some keeps on going as usually, some hides it, some becomes reserved. Some feel lonely because they have no one to turn to. No shoulder to cry on. Mostly it changes something in you no matter what.

Written by Alberte, Emma and Thea – Eisbjerghus Efterskole

Loneliness: Life in cyberspace

In Denmark we are very far ahead at the area of modern technology.Especially the youth of Denmark are heavy users of the computer and therefore familiar with its possibilities such as the Internet, writing programs, music and video players etc.On the computer, the Internet is the most used program. It’s different from boys to girls, what they use the internet for. Boys usually use it for video games and chat programs, while the girls are much more active on for example Facebook( a social networking site, where you share pictures, life experiences and other personal information). But they have one thing in common; they use the Internet to communicate with other people. If you are very lonely, some people also use it to make new friends and discuss their problems. It can be reliving to get a constructive perspective on your problems from an anonymous person. They have perhaps been exposed to the same, so they therefore have the ability to share their experience with the troubled person. Usually lonely people don’t have the strength to express their personality, afraid of no one’s approval.On the Internet they can act out their creativity and personality on their own way without anyone judging them and this can be a way of getting more self-esteem.

Written by Thea, Alberte and Emma - Eisbjerghus Efterskole

Bullying

If a person gets bullied, at school, at work, anywhere, it affects you in some way.
When people stand together they seem strong. They support each other. When you stand alone in front of that group of people you often feel weaker. - When it comes to a group bullying one person, it’s really the other way around. The group has to pick on somebody to feel good about themselves. That’s a weakness sign. But still they can make that one particular person feel very little and negligible, very fast. That brings us to the word, loneliness. If the person who is being bullied has no one to rely on, it can be hard just to ignore the bullying. One’s self-esteem gets very low. You feel like you have to go through everything alone. People function in groups, not being by themselves. That’s simply our nature.

Written by Alberte, Emma and Thea - Eisbjerghus Efterskole.